ch.ray.see

ur alive. uve finally said SOMTEHIN since goin down to florida. oh man. i miss u... esp. right now..cuz manda's off somewhere..who knows where..maybe somewhere in scarboro, cuz everything to her is scarboro, probably thinks where u are right now is scarboro too. anywaze.. u finally blog and sign comment on ppl's blogs too. just not mine :( u read everyone's blogs.. everyday every post. except these ones... oh well..it's soo depressing.. well i dont really know what to say.. just really sad. u missed kyrios grand finale.. and my slideshow.. but that's not important..cuz it has to do with me.. i guess i thot too much.. im not that important or anythin..zai jien and jo tao ...forever...

















well i guess it's not just u.. it's everybody. just this summer was soo awesome..met NEW PPL. and basic was soo fun and everythin..and just school sux. i just dont like these ppl. not all but just a lotta these ppl. just really seems like they dont care.. and that's fine. cuz i dont really care about them either.. im happy i didnt really see these ppl during the summer..not like they really made plans or whatever to meet up with me.. i mean im hypocritical. i know. but just it's stupid how everybody's like OH YEAH!!! WE SOOO GOTTA MEET UP THIS SUMMER ANBD WE GOTTA HANG OUT AND CHILL and yadda yadda yadda..but nobody did. nobody called me up. no one cares. is where im getting at. remember, im not saying everybody...just a majority of ppl. and im saying yeah im a hypocrit too. i understand that. but just i dunno..school's depressing...going back today..just reminds me of how much i dont like it. and just even today.. most ppl are just like HEY HOW WAS YOUR SUMMER? and the conversation kinda just dies there.. there's not really much after that. ppl suck. and even those ppl just on msn. who give like one word answers. that annoys me soo much., u say we're soo close friends. oh we;re soo good friends and all but u never ask questions or give more than 1 word in your answer. u just kinda stay in your world. and thru out all these years.. we've been thru so much, yet nobody really cares! that's why i dont even bother msging u ppl. there's no point. u wont talk. so why force u to? and then there's you. i mean. yeah ive done some stuff to u that i dont like..but i mean like.. why? what did i do? why do u keep shutting me out but then u also say we gotta start talking again, but then u dont really do that. im tryna be there for u, but ur not even there to begin with. well it hasnt been like this all the time, in fact it was fine recently. but just like today.. this isnt even a big deal. and im making it a big deal. but i mean like sometimes ur good and we talk, but then sometimes it's not, and u just dont really show any interest in talking to me. just make up your mind. it;'s frustrating how it's not fair. u didnt really give me a chance, and u just start thinkin some stuff and come up with some conclusion, where i cant even defend myself, but u make a decision that hurts. it kills me u know. ugh........... thank you to the friends that just listen to me and understand me. and talk to me on the phone late and just listen and let me say how i feel. and thank you for just agreeing with me and pretty much sticking with me and u agree that it's there, and it's supposed to work. it's fate. it's destiny. but i dunno. thank you to u, for agreeing with me that school sux, and it's over rated, and we had some good times in the past like school and stuff. but just some ppl really are over rated and ppl change. thank you to janice for listening to me go on and on and on and i dont shut up. and im angry and sad about everything.. and despite everything u still keep giving me good advice and ur always soo cheerful and optimistic. thanx. and that's me venting or ranting or whatever u call it.